Expression
by vigilans
Summary: He doesn't smile like that about anyone else.


Emily's doing the dishes when the phone rings. Cal's phone, not hers, because his phone still makes that generic ringing sound you hear in movies. ("It's a phone," he'd told her when she'd tried to show him how to change it, "That's the sound it's supposed to make.")

"Dad, phone!" she yells, receiving a grunt of acknowledgement and a computerized "End game," from the living room. (But he'd sounded so sincere when he'd told her half an hour ago he was actually going to write something.) A minute later Cal trudges into the kitchen, taking his time to locate his cell.

Emily glances over at her father as he finally fishes his phone out of his coat pocket. (There's a perfectly good coat rack by the front door, but Cal insists on leaving his draped over the back of a kitchen chair.) An emotion that could pass for happiness flashes across his face as he recognizes the caller ID. Emily suspects he would never display that particular microexpression in public, but at home he's a little less guarded- his smile is visible for a whole fraction of a second before Cal composes himself and takes the call. "Hey Gill, what's goin' on?"

He doesn't smile like that about anyone else. Cal always looks a little surprised when Wallowski calls, followed by a sort of grin that Emily suspects isn't entirely real. Her mother elicits suspicion, while Cal reacts to Loker's number with an exaggerated display of annoyance. And he's not afraid to share these reactions with the caller.

It's only this little smile that he keeps to himself, like he's afraid Gillian might find out he enjoys hearing her voice.

"Sorry love," Emily hears her father say, "I'll get right on it… Yeah, I know I said that last week. You wanna know what I had to _do _last week?" (Gillian already knows what he had to do last week. They had one of those really big cases that involved both of them staying at work ridiculously late, meeting with certain heads of state and diligently avoiding questions from nosy daughters. Emily's decided she probably doesn't want to know anyway.)

He's more comfortable with this part, Emily thinks. The part where he argues, makes excuses, generally antagonizes the person he's talking to. He didn't used to do that to Gillian.

They argue all the time now, and it reminds Emily of the beginning of the end of her parents' marriage. This time, though, Cal seems to have screwed up the relationship before it ever existed.

It's not until Cal finally hangs up the phone that Emily realizes she's been washing the same plate for the last five minutes. Cal's giving her a funny look, like he's about to accuse her of something.

She puts on her best innocent face, starts scrubbing another plate and generally acting like she wasn't contemplating her father's love life. A couple seconds later, she hears footsteps retreating back to the living room.

He knew what was going to happen when he took that call, Emily reflects. He knew that he wasn't exactly in Gillian's good graces right now; that he would likely spend the next few minutes getting chewed out by a very angry partner, but he had still _smiled_.

And, yeah, Gillian's pretty mad at him because their company's financial security depends a little more than she'd like on that second book. She could have walked away a long time ago, left Cal to manage his Group as erratically as he pleased and gone back to becoming a full-time shrink. And yet she stays; continues to put up with Cal and all of his schemes and excuses and issues. Because she cares about him, Emily thinks. They really like each other, and both of them are doing their best to ensure that they drive each other away. Because Cal's manage to convince himself that he doesn't deserve Gillian, and she's managed to convince herself that she's not capable of having a real relationship.

Funny how they're these leading experts on human emotion and deception, and yet neither of them seems to realizes quite what it is they're doing. Emily hopes that they're able to sort it out sooner or later; that, one day, Cal will let her hear the smile.

* * *

><p>So this is my first LTM fanfic, and one of my first attempts at non-school-mandated fiction in general. Reviews and constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated!<p> 


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